LONELY PLANET GUIDE TO THE WASTELANDS

Welcome to the Wastelands - a paradise for the adventurous tourist! Whether you want to hunt big game, participate in exotic rituals, kill a man with your bare hands, or just chill out by the pool of toxic slag, the Wastelands has it all!

So what is this Wastelands place anyway?
Well, the wastelands was created over a hundred years ago in what folks around here like to call 'the Big Bang', you might know it by other names - the Fall, Night of a thoudands Suns, Armageddon, the Apocalypse. After all the excitment settleed down, this is what was left - a huge desert full of radioactive nasties and hostile natives. But it's not all bad - there are the Free Peoples, the last remains of civilization in a world gone mad. With a proper and entlightned system of Democracy, fully operational industry and even commerce, the Free Peoples are the pinacle of Human endaevours. You'll find fortress towns and outposts scattered at important locations through out the wastelands, places like Freetown, Armored Bus Stop Armageddon, Hell Pit Head and Scumopolis. In these meccas of civilization, you can pick up supplies, taste exotic dishes, or maybe catch a pit fight or public excecution.

If you venture outside of the Fortress towns, you'll soon come across some of the frinedly natives of the Wastelands. Most inhabitants of the Wastelands are part of nomadic tribes, called Wasters or Raiders (the difference is subtle, and a point of contention, so don't call anyone a Waster or a Raider until you're sure.) Both Wasters and Raiders form loose tribes around family groups. They enjoy nothing more than sitting arounda blazing fire, roasting human flesh and reminiscing over past escapades. Niether wWasters noir Raiders actually produce anythign, let alone farm. They prefer to trade with more civilized people, and they have developed some incredibly effective barganing techniques such as the gun to the temple, and the knife in the guts. There's never a dull moment with these mischevious sons of the sands!

What with all the radiation in the wastelands, it's hardly a suprise that there are a lot of Mutants out there. Human mutants tend to be heavily muscled, squat creatures with a blusihs grey skin. They are usually mal nourished, hence tyhier stunted growth, btu they are very powerful, and possess an excellent, albeit primative sense of humour. Wasters and Raiders tend to adopt Mutants as tribal mascots and trade negotiatiors.
There are also plenty of mutant animals, such as Rad Scorpions, Rad Spiders, and the very rare Rad Chickens. These animals are terrible pests, and travleers are advised to carry insect repellant (Remmingotn 12 Guage is this year's hot favorite)

The Big Bang caused a lot of unfortunate things, drought, destruction, plague and the interuption of the World Series Baseball. The Brain eater plague was one of the worst. The plague has now almost died out, but there are still huge numbers of brain dead zombies out there. They may not look very deadly, and parts may fall off them at inopportune moments, but Zombies can be very nasty. Tourists are advised to avoid them.

Strangest of all the inhbitants of the Wastelands are undoubtedly the Ook. Where exactly these ape-men come from is unknown. Possibly the result of mutation, possibly the result of some sort of experimetn before the Big Bang, the Ook are none-the-less an important race in the Wastelands. The Ook occupy a large territory centered around the Valley of the Ook. They are industrious, civilized and for the most part peacable. They have a very high level of technology and culture, second only to the Free People. Tourists are warned however that they do not welcome visitors. DO not offer them bannanas, as being stranmgled by a two meter tall ape often offends.

What to do:
There's plenty to do in the Wastelands. IN the fortress towns of the Free People you could go to the local cinema, showing the best films of the late 20th century. Top of the charts this year are 'Mad Max II' and 'On the beach' with the luscious Ava Gardner.
Improvised street theatre is also prolific. Hot favorites include muggings, arson, and armed robberies, although mime slaying is ever popular.
Then there's the execution square. Every Fortress town has one, usually located in the middle of town. Here, you can watch the regular excecutions and punishments of miscreants. There's somethign happening in the execution sqaure almost very day.
Or, for the sports fan there's the Arena. Here, men fight men, men fight beasts, beasts fight beasts, and the audience fight for seats.

Outside of the Fortress towns, you could try your hadn at big game hunting (and some of the game is BIG!), or you could visit the many Waster and Riader tribes to watch thier exotic rituals and festivals. The year's biggest, the Heart Eater Festival, held on mid summer's day is highly anticipated. For this festival, the Wasters and Riaders kill thier captives and eat thier hearts to bring them strength. Other festivals ionclude Spleen Crushing Night and Easter.

Treks out to the Valley of the Ook are possibvle, but discouraged since the Ook declared a tourist free-fire zone around thier settlements. if you are dead set on going, make sure you take a white flag, and an interpreter.