TASMANIAN REPUBLICAN ARMY MONOLOGUES When I was required to produce a pair of short monologues as a requirement of a Uni class, the time seemed ripe for the Tasmanian Republican Army. I'd originally come up with the idea as part of a Titus Smith plot which never got anywhere, but it was an idea to good to miss. For those of you who are unfortunate enough to live anywhere but Australia (you fools!)Tasmania is the triangular bit off the bottom, which we usually forget about. Tasmanians have a reputation for inbreeding, apples, monumentality high death tolls in shootings (the Americans still havn't topped Point Arthur!)and being forgotten on maps. Well, it's time to fight back. (Not that I'm Tasmanian, you understand. And even if I was, I wouldn't admit it.) Enter General Dwayne, Wayne, and Robbo, the Tasmanian Republican Army, an extremist organization dedicated to kicking the shit out of the mainland, and getting their state declared an independent nation. The first monolog, entitles Tasmanian Terror' for want of a better name, featured the noble Liam Brooks, and old school friend as General Dwayne.It was designed to look like a terrorist video, and cantered around the TRA claiming responsibility for blowing up that most foul of edifices, Crown Casino. The TRA demanded their own republic, or they'll blow up Jeff's shed,the opera house and "that fucking huge banana in Queensland" among other things. They where sick of being patronized, and enraged by that "fucking shitty cartoon character" (Even if that was created in America, and nothing to do with the mainland scum!) The film introduced the enraged Dwayne, the never seen Wayne who acted as the TRA's technical officer, and Robbo, the lackey who's job it was to run the camera (very badly). In the tradition of HItchock, I made a cameo appearance as Robbo. My Assistant Director, Selina Yeates stood in as Wayne (just so Dwayne had somewhere to look when addressing him). The film was a resounding success, to such a point that it was mentioned in another student's second film! (A supreme achievement indeed!) The second film, "Transmission Hijack" takes place some time later, after the destruction of the Opera house. This time round, the TRA have bought an electronic warfare suite from Achmed Doud'gee and sons, shady Iraqi arms dealers to the gentry. They plan to make a tape, and insert it into a live national broadcast.At least, Wayne seems confident they can. But there is dissension in the ranks. Robbo (now revealed to be spelt 'Robbeau' is campaigning to become president of the People's Republic of Tasmania. Then we are introduced to the TRA's forth member: Little Boony (my brother's Pikachu with a stocking on his head).General Dwayne appeals to his fellow Tasmanians to join the cause, before going on to a new round of threats. This time, it's the MCG they are after. Except Dwayne is reluctant to blow up the ground where David Boon, the great Tasmanian all-rounbder (literally, he was all round) played so many games of Cricket.The terrible strain of office causes the General to suffer a nervous breakdown. The future of the TRA hangs in the balance...